He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
