Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
