Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
