If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
