i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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