did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
