why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
