My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
