Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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