Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
