The maid of honor just puked.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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