is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize