fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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