dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
