That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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