The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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