I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
