i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
