in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
