was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
