She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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