So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
