capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
