I just threw up on my dentist
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
