If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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