guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
