Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Welp...herpes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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