I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
