absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
