Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
