Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
In America we eat man semen.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
