You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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