He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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