I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
