I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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