I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
