He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
