i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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