4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
