On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
