you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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