I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
only you would photoshop your dick
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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