I showed him my bush... on skype.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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