I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
