Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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