just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
