Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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