if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
