if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
