He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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