i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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