Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
